Love this! I understand where you are coming from. Luckily, I had an amazing pregnancy and birth. My son is everything I'd dreamed of in having a child. I would love to have another so that he would have someone to lean on, especially when his dad and I are gone, but it just doesn't work for us. We are tremendously busy, have essential worker type jobs, and I'm 37. I honestly just don't have the energy for another child. It would be detrimental to us all, which is something I constantly have to remind myself, especially now that I'm "running out of time" for lack of a better description. Thank you for putting this heart ache of mine into words!